Classic golf resort Spring Cup May 10

Mixed emotions at the Spring cup event for many of the BGS. The ever preset Richard Downey chose to go to Mumbai for a lads piss up only to get there and discover it was a dry day! "Not the" was in the depths of Australasia somewhere (yet still managed to have the last word somehow on the day). David Taylor was on his way back from a volcano delayed Blighty trip and we were seeing some BGS stalwarts for the last time with Tomi and Trevor soon to be released from their Delhi sentence.

On the upside it was a great day for the caddies as our captain and leader Trev is departing -There aren't many he hasn't fired but Sunday's stayed the course- and Tiger managed to get around the course without hitting one with a ball!

We wish Tomi and Trev all the best though in the future and look forward to hopefully seeing them back here for the odd guest game.

The membership is starting to rise again but with more people departing in the near future lets please keep dragging our mates out. Great to see Inge Wiktil, Radhe Mehindro, Martin Gierse, Victor Wiffen, Ambrose Corray out for the first time with us. You will be spared from the blog for now but a new nick name is just around the corner.

So to the golf. We were definately in danger of looking a fairly decnt bunch with some credible scores piling in at a beautiful Classic golf course.

Dougie and Tom had a battle to see who could be more shit on the front nine averaging just 7 points! (I won't shame them with their actual scores) I played with Dougie and agreed with him at the 19th when he said "I didn't think I played that bad" he didn't, "that bad" would have in fact been an improvement! I also had the pleasure of playing with Mark Simpkins for the first time who started out pretty averagely before discovering that his caddy was in fact Butch Harmon. He started out a 36 handicapper and ended up a scratch golfer! Dougie commented on the 17th that it was "like playing a round with Nick Faldo and David Ledbetter" only he used a few more expletives.

The BGS 'Tiger Woods' award for most time spent in the bush was apparently a close run thing between Tiger and Tom 'Wolverine' Pashley who's resemblance to Hugh Jackman (see above pictures) is as remarkably uncanny as 'not the's' to Rob Lowe isn't! They finished with 33 and 23 respectively and were both a long way from the shake up.

The 'Jonny Depp award for always looking remarkably cool even though it is 45 degs and 80% humidity' went for the 59th time on the trot to Mauro who has yet to be spotted looking anything other than immaculate on the course. Shame the same can't be said about his game!

Of the newbies, Inge came in with a very respectable 36 but is unlikely to be seen again as his first round was with Tiger, enough to put anyone off playing with us. Tiger did comment that it was nice for a new player to turn up with a handicap and play exactly to it. With ryder cup places up for grabs I couldn't disagree more!

Once again the usual suspects came in with some good scores Michael Archdeacon, the departing Tomi and Seelan Moodley all carding 37 points with the later winning nearest the pin. I must have been second as I was 4 ft away so feel obliged to write that an unknown source claimed his shot was hit thin off the tee then hit a tree before stopping that close to the pin!

The winner this time by a country mile was Prateek with a magnificent 44 points who couldn't be pictured with the actual trophy as it has gone missing. Rumours that his alter ego Dick Turpin had in fact run off with it are unfounded. Seriously though, well done Prateek for an excellent round and well done everyone else for turning out in such great numbers, knowing there was an AGM after and in all likelihood a 20 page speech from 'not the' despite not beeing there. He didn't dissapoint!

See you all at Jaypee on the 30th for more lies from me.

Gareth

Pictures from top; Seelan, middle left; Prateek, middle right; Tom Pashley, bottom; Hugh wolverine Jackman - never seen on the same tee as Tom!!!!!

p.s if anyone finds the spring cup please return it along with any other trophies discovered to me.
p.p.s. Tom and Dougies front 9 scores were 5 and 8!! Let you ask them which was which.

Stop the press! Tiger's on the tiles!

"I suppose we should all really thank our lucky stars that the BGS "Tiger" has chosen alcohol to destroy his talent rather than women!"

These words from last weeks blog were obviously spoken too soon. Not content with letting Wood's hog the headlines and paparazzi attention, the BGS' very own 'Tiger' is out on the prowl with the very highest society of Delhi and showing a keen eye for the ladies. Obviously, he hasn't quite yet mastered the art of keeping it out of the headlines like Wood's, as the above 'papped' evidence from The Times proves.

Elegantly dressed to kill in a Kevin Kline tux with a Ralph Milne shirt, the Stella quaffing playboy took the Delhi Commonwealth Women's Association ball by storm and was a huge hit with the good women of Delhi. One party goer who wished to remain nameless (pictured with Sir Richard Stagg) was quoted as saying "That Tilley guy is real hot stuff ain't he?" another said "Strappingly handsome, rich and a scratch golfer, what woman wouldn't want him?"

When asked for a comment David Taylor from the BGS was unavailable but, unfortunately for this reporter Rob Lowe wasn't. After 25 mins on how he was done out of a trophy at the recent club championship he eventually said. "I feel really bad having had to make a decision which essentially meant that Tiger didn't get a trophy in the club championship, this may have driven him to extra vices"

When we eventually got to speak to Tiger's agent he read this brief statement.

"John denies completely all rumours that he is in fact leading a double life of quality golf,numerous women and too much alcohol"

He is currently believed to be in hiding at Phil Michelson's holiday home in Skegness England.

The Maul Trophy - Jaypee Greens

Another great turnout with the help of our friends at the American Golf Association (AGA)to compete for the combined glory of the Maul trophy and Putting trophy.

Competition was expected to be tight as a lot of the regulars are hitting form as the heat is cranking up. David Taylor went in to the day heavily fancied after a terrific round at Classic the week before and both John Tilley and Rob lowe were looking good after respectable scores at the Netlink Masters recently.

With the ever-in-contention Gurinder and Rich and the return of Gareth G. and last months winner Dougie, the field was looking very competitive.

The day started badly for some with Rob "not the" Lowe forgetting his shoes and John "Tiger" Tilley forgetting his marbles! Despite early talk of "not the" having to do the round in his bare feet (and possibly his pants and vest in true school p.e. tradition) as punishment, he managed to get his hands on a pair of 'rentals' thus spoiling the fun. He was at one point though contemplating the bare foot option when he realised that the shoes were 200rps and his wife hadn't given him enough pocket money to cover the charge.

Tiger however was not so lucky as his marbles never turned up but his hangover did. Refused a bloody mary on the first, he sulked his way through the front nine till the bar opened on the back and he recovered well. I suppose we should all really thank our lucky stars that the BGS "Tiger" has chosen alcohol to destroy his talent rather than women!

Tiger's day was not a great success, achieving something even the great Sachin Tendulkar has never managed ie scoring 100 before lunch! His finest hour was a 10 on a par 3 with Dougie and Gareth G. looking on and laughing and that was without even losing a ball!

Gurinder, David Taylor and Rich were looking strong for a while and fully justifying their pre-tournament billing, particularly Richard "Porn Star" Downey with a 19 point front nine but alas never stayed the course. Gurinder fought to the last but was edged into runner-up by "not the" with an excellent 39 points.

Not only did "not the" win the Maul trophy but scooped the double with the putting competition as well with 33 putts. Special mention to the AGA's Soonhang Ahn for his 31 putts which beat "not the" by two but didn't count as "not the" allegedly refused his recent application. He was though consoled by winning the longest drive beating the BGS's Pete Burtonshaw by an inch. Pete was later heard to mutter. "Not the first time in my life someone has said it's about an inch too short".

To complete a fine day personally (despite the shoes) "Not the" also won the nearest the pin. If you are reading this and contemplating joining but are put off by the fact that he seems to win everything, don't worry. The two things you need to know are.

1. He is usually crap.

2. He is going back to Blighty in a couple of months.

So please if you are thinking of signing up do so. The numbers are swelling, competition is getting fierce and the Ryder Cup is fast approaching.

Golden Greens Valentine day massacre!

Valentines day it may not have been but massacre is the word on several of the BGS members lips, after vengeance was sealed for the recent Ryder Cup defeat.

Playing for the prestigious Valentines day massacre trophy (think the USPGA Players championship 5th major) which is now officially on the missing list, the AGA started out with a swagger (ill judged as it turned out)on the back of their recent Ryder cup romp.

The venue was Golden Greens which it has been commented would now be better with the word Golden being replaced with "what has happened to the"!

The usual suspects were on the tee and hungover, with one BGS committee member- who shall remain nameless - still "supping on the balcony at home" 3 hours before tee off!

The AGA managed a good show after recent disappointments on the member front but unfortunately to no avail. The usually solid "Ammerman's" David and Dewi fresh from victory over BGS's most solid pair in the Ryder Cup suffered an upset at the hands of the ever steady Richard Downey (does he ever lose he is a machine) and ever present Gurrinder 1 up.

Unfortunately Rhys Arkins and Paul rust may feel like not showing again after suffering defeat to Robert Titanium Bicep (I've ad a lesson and its changed my life)Lowe and the ever consistent and classy Anjali Nagpur 8&6! Special mention to that pair for a very impressive 2 under gross.

Another BGS pairing with a resounding win 3&2 was Michael Archdeacon and Gareth Gillespie (not to be confused with Gareth Conde though our fixture secretary keeps managing it). Rumours abound of some monumental driving from the Aussie/Irish pair as they traded blow for blow. Michael nailing 6 drives on the back 9 over 300 yards and them both pushing the 350 yard mark on the 9th hole.For future reference, our fixture secretary is more than welcome to get the two Gareth's mixed up at times like that!

The final score for the record was 4-2 to the BGS who won back the missing trophy. Due to a lack of photo's of the winning presentation due to "equipment malfunction" they only record we have is of Gareth and Michael stood on the 9th tee.

Look forward to the next outing, to be announced soon. Please try and get out again in the same numbers as we have recently.

Karma Lakeland Millennium cup results 17/01/10

A terrific turnout for the Millennium cup on Sunday with 23 of us showing. Well done to David for his excellent organisation and for rallying everyone to get out in this freezing Delhi winter!

A new tee slot of 1pm was organised which had everything to do with the recent foggy mornings and nothing at all to do with it being David's 40 something birthday bash the night before!

Scoring was high due to a slightly more forgiving course than usual and near perfect conditions. Where the results are usually announced in the following two categories:

0-18 handicap.
18-36 handicap.

I feel for the purposes of this blog it would be prudent to split the categories thus:

Those that went to David's party and drank their own body weight in alcohol.
Those that didn't.

The table of those that did looks like this:

David Taylor 34
John Tilley 34
Seelan Moody 34
Gareth Conde 33 (miracle after being cut 7 shots. No I won't stop going on about it!)
Trevor fitzsimons 31
Rajesh Bakshi 27

Those that didn't:

Dougie o'neil 40
Rob Lowe 39
Gareth Gillespie 39
Tomi Vuorenmaa 39
Paul Rust 38
Prateek Dabral 38

As you can see there is a pattern emerging that is fairly obvious to notice! Exception to the rule in the "those that did" category was Richard Downey with a respectable 37 points. Impressive stuff when you take into account he didn't sober up till the 9th and had 24 points on the back 9!

In the those that didn't category special mention must go to Tomi, who finished runner up for the third time in succession and Rob Lowe who only landed 10 minutes before tee off.

The longest drive was a keenly fought battle with big Gareth Gillespie eventually getting pipped by the length of a driver by Robert "not the film star" Lowe or Titanium bicep as he will from now be known, with a monster 295 yards. I am going to take 10 yards off both drives for 'Caddy kick' though.

Nearest the pin was an excellent effort from Rajesh Bakshi who made up for his near wooden spoon performance (he was pipped to the post by Mark Simkins 25) by putting one to 4ft at the 10th. The standing ovation from the caddies around the green was scant consolation for missing the putt!

With scoring and turn out on the high side, early competition for places in the Ryder Cup is keen. Lets keep the appearance numbers up (but feel free to lower your scores) so we can keep this fine Delhi institution running for another 50 years.

Pictured is Dougie recieving the Millennium trophy from club captain Trevor and Dougie (overall winner),Rob (Longest drive) and Rajesh (nearest pin)

Karma Lakelands 17th Jan.

The BGS next outing will be on Jan 17th at Karma lakelands 1pm tee off. We have 16 tee slots booked so please come and join in.

For those who didn't come last time we played there it is well worth a look. It is a little more forgiving than the usual courses and is in beautiful condition.

If we can get 16 it will stand us in good stead for future price bargaining so please do your best to get out.

First tee.

Hello and welcome to the British Golf Society(BGS) Blogsite. We are a bunch of seriously average golfers (apart from me who is the current holder of the Captain Butah trophy) who get out about once a month and destroy the flora and fauna surrounding the fairways of some of Delhi's finest golf courses!

This site has been set up so members and potential members alike will be able to get a feel for what we are all about. I will be updating before and after each meeting so people will know who is being cut, who is winning and who is getting shots back. Bandits will be named and shamed (apart from myself who got 44 points on the last outing... oh damn I have just outed myself!!) and winners will be showered with glory and no doubt a whole load of sarcasm.

We are currently having a recruitment drive due to the economic down-turn having robbed us of some of our most loyal members.Being British is not part of the criteria for membership, all we are are looking for is people who would like a game on a weekend with a top drawer society that has been going for over 50 years. If you happen across this site and like the look of what you see and read please feel free to contact me for membership details.

We have a selection of photo's above of some of our regular players and I am sure they would'nt mind me suggesting they would love to play a round with you.